Murtagh John Strain; Albany; May 15th, 1863

Dear Father,

I take up my pen once more to address a few lines to you after so long a silence but my heart sinks within my bosom as I see that beloved name stand alone, the name of mother having been erased from the book of ethereal and taken to that of everlasting life. What a consolation is is to think that today she is one of the blessed "wives and mothers." But yet the secret impulse of a mother's love breathes freely within our breasts as free as the days when her gentle voice was heard in command over our once happy family or as when she whispered words of encouragement and love to our despondent hearts. Oh that I could [?] to my dear brothers and sister their loving mother; would I not soon flee this country of war and strife neither would the turbulent waters of the wide Atlantic be any barrier to me for I feel that I have been recreant to them and to you and the chief cause of thy heart rending sorrow. Dear Father I have become alarmed at you not writing ere this since you know that I know your troubles you may seem anxious to know how I became acquainted of them as as I did not say how in my last being so much confused and astonished that in fact I knew not what I did say. You cannot imagine for one moment how I felt when "Betty Gill" in sorrowful words told me of it as she had just received a letter from her sister telling her of the number of deaths which had occurred during a short period. I hope that you will bear up with patience and resignation to the will of He who is the father of "life and of death" comfort thyself with the hope that we have a mother in heaven, and allay the burning pain of afflication in my brothers and dear Mary Ann's hearts. Tell them that their brother still lives and loves them as tenderly and affectionately aye more so than when by their side. The Ocean may roll between us days, months, nay even years may pass away the course of life may often change but the passion of love shall never be cooled for too tenderely did you nurse me with thy guardian eye until it could no longer watch me in my actions your wise counselling and just reproaches checked and curbed my wicked course and my body would soon have been a corpse had I been allowed to pursue in it to allow it for one moment to become [?] ardent. In your letter of the month of December you asked or requested me to tell you how I liked my situation. The situation which I then held I have left since and I am now a bookeeper in a coal merchant's office of the name of "Mattimore & Stuart".

My salary is somewhat larger being now $600.00 or £120.00 per year. Perhaps you may think I may be doing pretty well but it will all be required to provide me with the indispensible neccessaries of life, in peaceable times a young man enjoying such a salary could have "saved some" but in war times such an idea is absurd. For the cheapest suit of clothing you will pay $25.00 and if you go into respectability they will cost between $30.00 & $40.00. I board with James. Perhaps as he would not allow me board any other place and pays $16.00 per month. This American War will I presume be the principle topic now as it involves the interests of all classes. Today I am after seeing the remnants of 4 Reg their time having expired and 32 Rgts now leave the seat of war this month. It is a pityable sight to see these poor fellows who risked their lives to preserve the Union of their country and the great the glamourous and free return worn out with fatigue & suffering but yet steadfast in their cause once more have the northern troops been beaten and the fanatics who have been placed at the head of the government now order a draft of conscription but thank God I am exempt as is also James and Laurence. My Aunt Mary enjoys the blessing of good health as does we all.

She was very much grieved when she heard of my mother's death as were also all of my friends in this city. She does enquire very much about you and would wish once more to see you. James and Laurence are doing a very fine trade here but I am sorry to say that Edward has not been so fortunate, he having indulged rather much in drink which is the ruin of man in this country. Betty Gill is well and they all send their love to you and all friends. I hope my Grandmother is in the enjoyment of good health and also all my Glasker friends. How is Uncle Charles and my Aunt in Newry? I have written to him but received no answer as yet I presume he is displeased with me but let him not as it was my last resource. I hope Patrick will write to me soon as I would like my brothers and Mary Ann to write to me and I shall write a letter to their selves ere many days roll past. Give my love to my Grandmother, Uncles Dan, Edward, Charles and Aunt ... [illegible] ... and all my friends Daniel McConvill (?) & all the Creevy people. Tell Mr McConvill (?) that Mr. Cowan left Kingston hoping and praying to God to grant you all good health.

I remain your affectionate son to death.

M.J. Strain

I will write soon on private matters as I am in haste now.

M.J. S.